if i only knew...

Wishing for a home

Holga street
Uploaded to my Flickr photostream.

I decided to cross-reference this blog entry with this Holga shot posted last week in the photoblog, because the building in the middle with the round balconies just sums it up perfectly.

Every time I look at this building (it's in our street in Vienna) I imagine the homes behind the walls, and see these beautiful old flats, with the high ceilings, lots of sunlight coming through from the large windows, clean and neat (I just can't imagine a messy apartment in there), a perfect home.

For a few years now, i have been longing for a home, one that i can make my home, choose the furniture, choose the colors of the walls, choose the layout of the rooms, and live in it with Bence, just enjoying our own nest every day. But it was also very obvious it would not happen any time soon, as i was still in college, and although i do earn something from my business ventures i couldn't afford to keep up a home. Bence has his rented apartment in Vienna, which we enjoy very much, but there is only so much time i can spend there and it's still not really ours. And it's not in Budapest. And it's always temporary.

So, now that i am no longer in college, and have my own business which is slowly starting up, it should be time to move out and start building the nest. I am lucky enough to have sort of inherited an apartment (one with high ceilings and huge windows) from my late grandma, which we could move into, but due to a family situation, that apartment is not yet fully available to move into.

And my Mom is going away for 3 months to visit my sister in Canada, and i won't leave my Dad alone for that time. So for now, everything stays the same. And the longing remains.